There he is online — a cute 30-something guy with great stats. I continue perusing his dating profile. Never married. No kids. Professional and educated. Articulate.
God, this guy looks great on paper.
I decide to be proactive. Instead of sending a wink or hoping he notices that I viewed his profile, I e-mail him a short message. He replies with a lengthy response. Exciting! We email back and forth. I'm interested. But first I need to do more investigating.
I go to OKCupid's compatibility report. This report is generated after users' answer questions. You then compare answers. A percentage is also calculated showing how compatible you are with your interest.
This guy and I are a 77 percent match.
But there's a red flag. When asked "Do you think homosexuality is a sin?" he replied, "Yes." He goes on to explain that although he does believe it is a sin, he doesn't judge homosexuals. It's their life. To each their own. Still, can I date someone who thinks being gay is wrong in the eyes of the Lord? If he thinks this way he must believe that being gay is a choice. I don't believe that at all. I also don't think God will condemn homosexuals in the after life. Can I date someone who does?
I pause. Dating a man with this point of view can become problematic. I have gay friends. Would he not want to be around them? If we were to marry and have children, would he want to pass down this point of view? My mind continues to swirl with thoughts. I have to think long-term. I have to note his core values and beliefs.
I stare at my iPhone; my OKCupid application is open. It is my turn to reply to him. I don't know if I should. Should I give him the benefit of the doubt? Yes. I decide that I should. We are compatible in every other way. Perhaps his views are based on ignorance. Maybe he needs to learn more about the gay community. All I know is that I'd give Mr. Good on Paper a shot to explain his side articulately.
What would you do if you were in my position?