As soon as I gave birth to my third boy (and last child) the questions rolled in:
“Don’t you wish you had a girl?”
“How can you stand only having boys?”
And my favorite, “Are you trying for a girl?”
While I hoped and prayed for healthy children, it seems the rest of the world was very caught up in their gender. It just happened that I was blessed with a gaggle of boys, and I couldn’t be happier now that I’m a boy-mom.
Now, when the critics push me on the topic of having another baby, in hopes of adding a girl to my crew, I just tell them all the reasons that having boys is the best.
1. You will never run out of penis jokes.
2. Cleaning poop diapers is hard enough without having to learn vagina origami.
3. Fine, you’ll never watch your daughter give birth. But you will watch your 3-year-old sons attempt to poop on the potty, which is practically the same thing (to them).
4. Someone will always think you’re the best cook ever.
5. When your son decides to marry, you decide whether to be a good witch or a bad witch to your future daughter-in-law.
6. You’re the only woman your husband loves (unless he’s cheating), then you’re fu*ked.
7. Statistically speaking, your son will marry a woman like you. So, at least you have someone to leave your tasting room membership to when you die.
8. You’ll always have someone who likes the way you smell. Whether after running a marathon, watching a movie marathon with lots of popcorn, or right after you take a shower.
9. Boys have an uncanny ability to be able to cuddle while giving you space at the same time.
10. Bathrooms are easier, unless your son is pretty, and you live in Texas.
11. Boys can’t get pregnant.