Welcome to Pregnancy Without a Filter, my weekly series in which I chronicle my life as a first-time mom-to-be. Read along for insights, outbursts, ups, downs, and the real deal about the crazy adventure of making a person.
Okay. So I know that most folks say the first trimester is the time when pregnancy hormones really take a hold of you and may make you a little crazy. But if I’m being honest, I really didn’t notice much of an emotional difference in my first trimester. I was pretty cool, if I do say so myself — yes, I was miserable and nauseated for 12 weeks, but I felt like I had my head on straight. No tears. No outbursts. I thought I had it made.
Cut to now, week 23 in my second trimester, and I’m pretty sure I would cry if a puppy looked at me sideways. But it’s not at everything, mind you. Just at really nice things. Someone helping an elderly person cross the street. A really lovely sunset. And most of all, my husband. You guys, I have never been so obsessively in love with my husband.
Don’t get me wrong — have loved him every day since the day I met him, but this is different. If he’s across the room, I want to be right next to him. If he’s cooking me dinner, I can’t even find the words to thank him. And if he puts on one of my favorite T-shirts, forget it, it’s all over. I just have to hug him for five minutes. Absolutely true story: We made sandwiches for lunch the other day; he likes tomatoes on his sandwich and I don’t. I sat there and watched him taking a bite of his sandwich and I got teary-eyed because I thought it was so wonderful that he likes tomatoes. What?!? What is happening to me?!?
Part of me knows that it’s just hormones making me wacky and exaggerating the feelings that I already have about the people and things around me. But part of me also wonders if it’s something a little more than that. He’s the only other person in the world who is part of this little guy growing inside of me, and there’s something completely overwhelming and wonderful about that. I love that it’s just us together, navigating this crazy thing that so many have figured out before us, and that we get to figure it out for ourselves now. Every step of this journey magnifies the people we are, and it’s been an affirmation of all of the reasons why I just adore the guy.
But seriously, tomatoes? Come on, hormones.
Moms! Did you have something similar happen when you were pregnant? I’d love to know if it was the same for you or if your husband just drove you nuts (believe me, I would understand that too). Do share in the comments!