#3. I NEED MORE TESTS. I will drink a gallon of water, and go get more tests. I need to be sure.
#4. At times you suspect she hates you.
#9. What it’s like to peek at your pink bubblegum by the bum and see what appears to be a pint of raspberries somebody took their frustrations out on.
#6. The urge to move into a meat locker until you go into labor.
#2. Do all kids put their genitals on the kitchen table, or are mine just particularly weird?
#7. I didn’t have to steal, beg, or bribe for cuddles.